Neuroticism: Priorities
This will probably be the most personal post I ever make.
Reality has slapped me in the face hard, and I’m crumbling under all the pressure. Not really, but I’m stressing out so much right now over nothing. There is nothing to be worried about, yet I feel very anxious.
We received this one…
Hey James, I’ve actually had the exact same feeling. In junior year I felt like I was stagnating in school. I had no motivation to do assignments, and later on even my social life was in disrepair. Problem was, I didn’t really know what I wanted. All I knew was that I had to do something to pull myself out of it. At first I tried to blame the things around me, but eventually I figured out that was counterproductive, except to alleviate some momentary exasperation with life.
Receiving college mail also got me to think about the future, in a way that invalidated all of my previous beliefs about what my education should be like. Eventually, I began to believe that I shouldn’t have to exert myself to the point of complete exhaustion over things that I clearly could not resolve, and that what I had to do was make the most of what I had, what I have, and let life unfold itself. Fruitless labor just isn’t worth it.
Setting your priorities is a good thing, but I think more importantly one should begin to define the boundaries between what one can control and what one cannot. This way, you not only relieve your anxieties but increase your efficiency and performance in life as a result of having a calmer, clearer mind. To make that last sentence clearer, by calming down and understanding your locus of control, you can create higher efficiency than when you are stressed and overburdened by what others deem to be your goals or standards, for everything from grades to social life.
I understand that not everyone works this way, but having read many other entries on your blog, I believe this applies in the same way for you as it did for me. Hope everything works out for you :)
— Charles
Dr. Kiran Jobanputra, MSF doctor working in the Congo
(via doctorswithoutborders)
Journal #1
Hahah, typical. Journal #1. Diary #1. To-do list #1. Random Quotes #1. Translation #1. Paragraph #1. Item #1. Thesis #1. This problem is probably responsible for 90% of all the paper, lead, ink, ideas, and trains of thought I’ve ever wasted. I probably won’t have a Journal #2. You can bet on it. Or, if I do, it must mean something big is happening.
Walking down the street yesterday was like wading through a sauna. Then I got home. My sister’s arms were all grimy with sweat, even in the air-conditioned hotel room. The AC in my room is broken. I slept on the couch at night. Transcribed some of Screamer and read some of Lolita before I tucked in. Today I got a new cellphone number. Skipped breakfast. Learned how to jailbreak an iPhone. Talked about free will and determinism with a friend. Argued with my father during lunch. Figured out how to dial a Bangkok number. Listened to a seminar on How Music can Relieve Stress from Work. Discovered how deprived a lot of Chinese people are of good music. Read a synopsis of The Forest. Wiki’d double entendres, cross-cultural onomatopoeia, and Kopi-Luwak coffee. Took another trip to philosophy-land; half an hour, no shortcuts. And now I’m on Tumblr. It’s 6:30, a time when a good number of people are watching movies at work. And some are working, of course. I should probably go soon.
Philosophical question of the day (haha, there it is again… I probably won’t have a philosophical question tomorrow): Do we have free will or are all events predetermined? Do we doubt our free will because we are daunted by the size and complexity of the universe?
All you people that link your personal tumblrs to facebook?
I hate you.
Sorry… But I seriously hate all these random people getting tumblrs and all they post is stupid shit. Now everyone is easily connected to mine and I don’t like posting anymore.
UGH. -___-
Honestly, why would you want to link tumblr to facebook anyways? Stupidest feature ever.
OMG I SWEAR i justtt posted about this. =]
”I seriously hate all these random people getting tumblrs adn all they post is stupid shit…” I’m not in a position to say this myself, but I totally agree with you.
Ridiculous Quotes #1
Oh, I know this is mean…. but whatever.
“Are you old enough to watch New Moon over there?” - one of my Chinese colleagues somewhere in her 20s. I nearly sprayed out a mouthful of water.
“Are you allowed to drink over there?” - my team leader.
“No. The drinking age in California is 21.” - me.
“Wow, that’s a long ways off from 18. Have you ever secretly drank any alcohol?”
“No…”
“Wow, you’re disciplined.”
“What’s the age limit over here?”
“There is none. When we were little, our parents dabbed booze on their chopsticks and put it into our mouths.”
“………..”
2 weeks ago 5 @Imobiz38 I think your wrong…the emotion is fine. Every “Moonlight snob” as I like to call peeps who often bitch every time Moonlight is played without William Kempff in the title. If you can see the emotion in this piece…sorry. I suppose if ol Beethoven himself were alive today and put up a video of himelf playing Moonlight on YouTube there would be some troll saying “Not enough emotion!”. Well a 4 year kid banging on the piano is emotion too…but it sounds like crap!” Youtube
Emm.
My posts must be taking up a lot of space on people’s tumblr update pages. It must be pissing people off. Maybe some people will even stop following me! Who knows :)
China Daily Side Article #1
Fond Reminiscence
Blaming the average citizen for being nostalgic about the good old days seems unfair, especially given the widespread corruption and inequality in present-day society.
To equate such hopeful reminiscence with a desire to reutrn to an egalitarian past, or posit that as animosity to teh present, may be somewhat narrow-minded.
Ordinary citizens seek a just society where the bureaucrats are upright and governance is a picture of probity and fairness. This is the reason why, once in a while, society turns nostalgic for an idealized past, even if the people then were more impoverished than today’s generation.
Yet no one wants to actually live miserably. Which explains why this “essentially retrogressive trend of thoughts” - as a professor at the Communist Party of China’s Central Party School observed - is not the norm, but the exception.
Nostalgia for a perfect past is fine as long as it can act as a counter-weight to the passive acceptance of the corruption-ridden and imbalanced nature of society today. But, to call such thinking a subversive trend is simply going over the top.
Instead of nailing perfectly normal thought with an intimidating ideological sticker, scholars must focus more on the ills of present-day life.
Nostalgia is a sign that the present is not as flawless as it is touted to be. Moreover, it is nothing to fear. Trial and error is an inevitable part of reform, and correcting the wrongs shoudl become a natural part of that process of remediation.
